Tuesday, October 16, 2007

dedicated to auntie deborah and 羊羊

October 15 2007

.she was a great fren.
.a great advisor.
.and most importantly a great mother.
.she was a mother that i could have ever dreamt of having.
.she cared for, asked and loved even though i was just her son's ex gf.
.her selfless-ness and thoughtfulness taught me that the world is not a such a bad place to live on actually.
.but now....
.my nights will be empty without emails to reply to.
.my phone wouldnt ring in the middle of the night.
.with a soft voice asking me if imma doing fine.
.no one will gimme a surprise visit anymore.
.no more.....
.i wanted to tell her that she can extend her stay during my bdae week.
.and get her down to see my first ever conpetition.
.i have so much to tell her.
.but now.
.its just too late....
.thanks for all the wonderful things that you have done for me.
.you are an angel sent by God to me.
.and i know now you will be blessed by him.

.羊羊.
.i promise that i will be your bride next time and nobody else's okay?.
.but for now bless me eh?.
.together with your mummy and korkor.
.be a good boy with them.
.imma sure they gonna treat you real well.


bernard.
.if you are reading this.
.yup.
.auntie deborah and little philp is gone.
.so please take good care of yourself eh?.
.i dont wish to have another beloved gone.

.blockedout.anger.guilt.sorrow.agony.blanks.empty.lost.rage.pain.
.i dont know how i should feel now.
.cherish all those ard you.
.really.
.all these are just too much to take.

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